December 9, 2004

Movie Review: Ranch Hand Rehab


BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Directors: Casey and Peter O’Brian.
Cast: Jon Galt, Aaron Osborn, Kent Larson, Anthony Shaw, Wade Mohawk, John Marcus, Raul, Chris Bolt, Holden Grey, Casey O’Brian.

Summer on a ranch with his two horny uncles—that is what pothead Holden Grey must endure as punishment when his folks find his stash. Little does he know that barnyard sex awaits! That is the promising premise of Ranch Hand Rehab. Unfortunately, four run-of-the-mill scenes follow, with some of the worst technical problems ever seen in an All Worlds Video release. The lighting, sound and tape quality are so poor that at times it’s difficult to decipher the picture onscreen. Fuzzy camera work, wooden acting and a B-list cast don’t help matters. Only manly Jon Galt, as the sexier uncle, and Kent Larson manage to create some sparks in their flip-flop fuck. These are professional porn studs who know what they’re doing. On the other hand, boypicsusa.com exclusive Grey fails to impress. Newcomer Aaron Osborn does make a big splash as the hairy cousin who encourages Grey to get down on the farm. Osborn virtually saves the threeway among Grey, Chris Bolt and himself with his strong sexual presence and sense of fun. He also delivers the video’s best cum shot. But it is a bright spot in an otherwise murky mess. Despite a solid setup, directors Casey and Peter O’Brian (Casey also plays the nonsexual role of Uncle Luke) needed to pay more attention to the production end of their production. This Rehab had us reaching for the bottle! (All Worlds Video)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2004)

Movie Review: Bang of Brothers

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Tom Bradford.
Cast:
Adam Gervay, Attila Rajnay, Norbert Somlay, Frantisek Dvorak, Arpad Majoros, Roberto Giorgio, Ivan Rasilov, Pavel Nemec, Massimo Ferzetti, Daniel Kilmer, Rick Bauer.

Some newbie soldiers are frantically hunting for a house in the woods. Is this a gay-porn version of The Blair Witch Project? Actually, Bang of Brothers, a stylish thriller from director Tom Bradford, plays out more like a limp-wristed homage to The Amazing Race. Among five middling sex scenes, the warriors in training compete to win drills made up by their hard-edged (and hard-cocked) commander. Clocking in at more than two hours, Bang has too many action sequences that go on for too long. Who wants to watch a bunch of clothed foreigners playing games when Fear Factor is just a flip of the dial away? In the muddled plot, newcomer Adam Gervay is training to become a soldier, but his shyness and orphan past are holding him back. His mates try to be supportive, when they aren’t busy sucking and fucking. Three of the scenes are standard threeways among the other soldiers and officers. In the last scene, the commander takes Gervay under his wing and into his bed. The sex throughout tends toward the mechanical. And while most of the models are smooth and buff with plenty of uncut meat, hairy Norbert Somlay deserves a medal for his thick piece and versatility. Twink Gervay is cute, though he doesn’t have much to do besides look vacant and upset. Picture quality lacks crispness. The colors are overly saturated, and skin tones tend to look too yellow. Maybe these babes should have stayed lost in the woods. (Pacific Sun Entertainment)

Reprinted from
GAYVN magazine (2004)

December 6, 2004

Movie Review: The Big Catch


BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director:
Pietro.
Cast: Marcelo Lagoas, Ken Masters, Marcelo Garcia, Ramon Gonzales, Guilherme Maia, Alan Bueno, Igor Santos, Marcelo Toniette, Jonathan Kaw√£, Marcelo Moura.

Messenger boy Marcelo Lagoas stumbles onto a secret sex society in The Big Catch. Lucky for us, he decides to join. In this by-the-book orgy flick, 10 Brazilian studs give their all in one extended scene. The adorable Lagoas, after trying to deliver a package to a mysterious warehouse, is initiated into this club by two hunks wearing masks and capes. These guys are gayer than Batman and Robin! In an overly drawn-out setup, the superheroes strip him and give him a white bow tie to wear (they have a bizarre bow tie color system that is sort of like a hankie code). Then they walk him down some very long hallways until they finally arrive at the orgy room. Soon, Lagoas is sucking numerous cocks and ultimately getting fucked. From the attractive uncut group, top man Ramon Gonzalez stands out (for his amazing body), as does Guilherme Maia (for his prodigious pop shot). The action tends to get old over the hour that this scene lasts, although director Pietro spices things up with a double penetration sequence (courtesy bottom Marcelo Moura). Eventually, Lagoas takes the cum shots with grace and is hungry for another initiation even though he has been accepted to the club! Good videography and picture quality as marred by some hot lighting and pixelation. Also, the annoying music that loops over and over is thoroughly maddening. Most members would quit after being subjected to this droning noise. Turn off the volume—or enter at your own risk. (Video 10/Pau Brasil)

Reprinted from
GAYVN magazine (2004)