June 15, 2005

Movie Review: A Stiff Dick Has No Conscience 3


Director: Uncredited.
Cast: Wyatt, Pee Wee, Lucky, Jinx, Nicholas, Angel, Lewis.

It seems “Uncle Don” has no conscience either. That’s the name of the faceless cameraman who eggs on a group of listless twinks in five amateur jack-off scenes. The movie opens on a beach in Oceanside, California, where retired Marine Wyatt (bidding farewell to porn now that he has a new wife and baby on the way) and surfer/stoner Pee Wee make small talk and act bored. When they move indoors to a tacky couch, things don’t improve. They strip, watch some straight porn and avoid making eye contact with each other. That’s what you get when straight models are forced to jerk off together! Despite the lack of chemistry, they eventually cum on a mirror, which becomes a theme here. In the next scene, college student Lucky poses and talks about pussy. He looks less than thrilled when an overweight masked man steps in to suck him off. Next, Jinx does an awkward striptease before showing off his baby fat on a mattress and in the shower. Uncut Nicholas from Chile speaks no English and is also accosted by the ski-mask sucker. In the final scene, Angel lifts weights and shows off his perfect pecs. He has the best body of the group but is charmless and obnoxious. He does know how to work his ample foreskin though. Latecomer Lewis literally knocks on the door, enters and goes right to work. He doesn’t even have time to throw out the gum he chomps while ’bating. Besides the unwilling cast, the camera work and sound are truly amateur. Picture quality is fine. Fans of reality porn might enjoy the natural bodies and self-conscious stares, but they’ll have to bring their own heat. (The Body Shoppe)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)