Movie Review: A Night at Bruno’s

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Chi Chi LaRue.
Cast: Jan Fischer, Tristan Bennet, Denny Martini, Lee Roy, Max Schneider, Taurus, Tony Rengel, David Low, Marlon Abdalla, Johnny Hazzard.

Director Chi Chi LaRue and crew take their show on the road for A Night at Bruno’s. Set in the Berlin bookstore, the film features a group of horny guys who gather to browse some porn and wind up making some of their own. Taurus and Max Schneider get the action going as the other patrons look on with interest. Before you know it, the whole damn place is filled with cocksucking, buttfucking, ass-eating porn fans. (It’s interesting to note the many Channel 1 Releasing/Rascal Video DVDs on display in the background. Product placement has never looked so good—or been so blatant!) Some highlights include: Rascal exclusives Tristan Bennet and cover model Jan Fischer making the most of their time together, with Bennett taking top honors on Fischer’s tasty tush; manly Lee Roy exhibiting some expert deep-throating skills; and buff Denny Martini brooding his way through his intense sexual encounter. Special guest Johnny Hazzard (another Rascal exclusive) even pops in for a cameo, where he is blown and banged to great effect. The whole movie is basically one long scene broken into shorter sequences. Your interest might vary with the particular models on-screen, but it will never falter completely as LaRue keeps things lively with brisk pacing and tight editing. Picture quality is good. Extras include a flashy public-service announcement from the directing diva herself. Looking glamorous, LaRue delivers a safer-sex message that advises viewers to “‘wrap it up!”, meaning their willies. Well said, Cheesh! (Channel 1 Releasing/Rascal Video)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)

Movie Review: A Stiff Dick Has No Conscience 3

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Uncredited.
Cast: Wyatt, Pee Wee, Lucky, Jinx, Nicholas, Angel, Lewis.

It seems “Uncle Don” has no conscience either. That’s the name of the faceless cameraman who eggs on a group of listless twinks in five amateur jack-off scenes. The movie opens on a beach in Oceanside, California, where retired Marine Wyatt (bidding farewell to porn now that he has a new wife and baby on the way) and surfer/stoner Pee Wee make small talk and act bored. When they move indoors to a tacky couch, things don’t improve. They strip, watch some straight porn and avoid making eye contact with each other. That’s what you get when straight models are forced to jerk off together! Despite the lack of chemistry, they eventually cum on a mirror, which becomes a theme here. In the next scene, college student Lucky poses and talks about pussy. He looks less than thrilled when an overweight masked man steps in to suck him off. Next, Jinx does an awkward striptease before showing off his baby fat on a mattress and in the shower. Uncut Nicholas from Chile speaks no English and is also accosted by the ski-mask sucker. In the final scene, Angel lifts weights and shows off his perfect pecs. He has the best body of the group but is charmless and obnoxious. He does know how to work his ample foreskin though. Latecomer Lewis literally knocks on the door, enters and goes right to work. He doesn’t even have time to throw out the gum he chomps while ’bating. Besides the unwilling cast, the camera work and sound are truly amateur. Picture quality is fine. Fans of reality porn might enjoy the natural bodies and self-conscious stares, but they’ll have to bring their own heat. (The Body Shoppe)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)

Movie Review: Somebody Is Looking

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Roman Senko.
Cast: Lukas, Zbynek, Daniel, Radek, Jaroslav, Denis, Roman, Jan, Petr, Jindra.

Sex with farm animals? Not quite, but the “somebody” in the title Somebody Is Looking turns out to be a bevy of ponies, zebras, camels, tigers, llamas, you name it. Set in a zoo in the Czech Republic, Looking at least has a unique location going for it. However, involving animals in graphic gay-sex scenes turns out to be more disconcerting than anything. For example, in the first of four scenes, two workers put aside their brooms to have some fun. No sooner do they start sucking than two voyeuristic ostriches take ringside seats. As the fucking begins, one ornery ostrich gets right in their faces. If it weren’t so weird, it might be funny. Two other dudes bail some hay then get it on for the horses in the stable. A tour guide leads a group of guys through the zoo, introducing each animal species in badly translated subtitles. The men soon pair up and practically have sex in the cages. Sounds hot, but it’s not! A couple of adorable lion cubs lead to the final threeway. This is the best scene in the film, perhaps because the models are attractive and the animals are put off to the side at the start. Fuzzy picture quality and blah colors don’t help. Nor does the annoying musical accompaniment and irritating sound of dogs barking and roosters crowing. These animals clearly brought out the beast in someone—the foreign cast tries its best—but most viewers probably won’t want to heed this call of the wild. (Galaxia)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)

Movie Review: Boywatch, Part 6

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Uncredited.
Cast: Jakub, Jan, Ben, Tomas, Petr, others.

The boys keep coming—and cumming—in the sixth edition of Bel Ami’s Boywatch, a continuation of the award-winning 101 Men series that presents a group of twinks auditioning for the venerable studio. In each film, director George Duroy sorts through 30 models in order to pick the best ones for his upcoming projects. The opening credits tell us that he is searching for “the most desirable young men in the world.” And once again, he has the cream of the crop to choose from. These foreign youth are each more gorgeous than the next. The drill is basically the same for each. We see their stats, then there is a brief interview with subtitles in which the guys share their favorite hobbies, career plans and sexual turn-ons. Next, they sit on a couch and fondle themselves to completion. In the process, we are treated to an array of promising newcomers: Jakub shows off an amazing pair of pecs; Ben has some sexy tattoos; Jan is a hairy blond beach boy; blue-eyed Tomas is adorably nervous; and Petr is sweeter than a cupcake. You get the idea. Clocking in at almost three hours, Boywatch 6 offers a dizzying selection of hot models. From the great opening montage to the final drop of jizz, the production has lovely lighting and videography, vivid colors and superclean transfer. We wouldn’t expect anything less from Bel Ami, and we certainly don’t envy Duroy, who has the task of choosing the top 10 from this crew of cuties. Or maybe we do! (Bel Ami)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)

Movie Review: Ram Tough

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Steven Scarborough.
Cast: Alex Collack, Alex Fuerte, Kent Larson, Shane Rollins, Arpad Miklos, Ace Hanson, Jason Kingsley, Jason Hawke, Corbin Michaels.

God bless the working man. You know, the sexy plumber or electrician who enters your home to fix something and soon after enters your fantasies. Hot House Video celebrates these working stiffs with Ram Tough. In five solid scenes, some major studs start to work and end up laboring at hot sex. Exclusive Alex Collack steals the show in the first scene with Shane Rollins. He arrives to fix the sink, and Rollins suggests that he strip out of his overalls to do a better job. Right off the bat, we’re treated to Collack’s gorgeous body and oversize piece. Eventually he gets to work on Rollins’ pipes. He sucks and fucks the now hairy Rollins to great effect. But the best thing about this scene—and all the flip-flopping that follows in Ram Tough—is that after giving Rollins a good pounding, Collack turns the tables and rides him to completion. Both models seem to be truly versatile, and this makes for an exciting start. Kent Larson and Jason Kingsley do the same in the next scene, both sucking and fucking each other, and Kingsley even delivers two copious pop shots. Well-done! Next, muscleman Ace Hanson meets up with exclusive Alex Fuerte. When Fuerte doesn’t have enough money to pay Hanson for his fake ID, he makes up the difference by providing oral services. Hanson looks bigger than ever here, and the camera worships his every taut, bulging muscle. His eruption all over Fuerte’s impressive pecs is a highlight. Jason Hawke and Corbin Michaels satisfy the twink market with their coupling, though they lack the he-man appeal of the rest of the cast. Finally, Arpad Miklos joins Kingsley and Fuerte for some threeway jacking and sucking. Miklos also proves to be a talented top, and Kingsley takes as good as he gets. Picture quality is fine, and the lighting shows off these manly man at their best. Ram Tough will be a tough act for Hot House to follow. (Hot House Video)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)

Movie Review: Through the Woods

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Chi Chi LaRue.
Cast: Jason Adonis, Pierre Fitch, Gus Mattox, Barrett Long, Bobby Williams, Tristan Adonis, D.C. Chandler, Collin O’Neal, Marcus Allen, Nate Alexander, Andrew Rubio.

In Through the Woods, Falcon exclusive Pierre Fitch dons a little red hoodie and hitchhikes to his grandmother’s house—but not before blowing studly roommate D.C. Chandler. Their scrumptious scene gets this fractured Falcon fairy tale started on a high note. Chandler has grown into a sexy man’s man, and his veiny uncut cock is as delicious as ever. None of which seems to be wasted on twink Fitch, who devours every inch with care. These two cuties move on to 69, and Chandler pounds Fitch with sweaty conviction. This coupling is a tough one to beat, but Fitch does his best as he hits the road to Granny’s. Before long he is picked up by school principal Wolfe (Gus Mattox, pictured top), who flashes back to the time when he had to discipline four students (Barrett Long, Marcus Allen, Nate Alexander and Andrew Rubio). The youngsters drop trou and get a good spanking from Mattox, who eventually makes them jack and suck for him. He even ends up topping one lucky delinquent.

Next, Fitch attempts to bum a ride in a pickup truck from Tristan Adonis (brother of Jason) but not before playing with him. This scene isn’t especially exciting and seems to lack the energy of the others. But Fitch gets to show off the picture-perfect butt that graces the box cover. Meanwhile, back on the road, Fitch arrives at a cabin in the woods that he thinks belongs to his grandmother. However, we soon learn that it is the retreat of three bears (Jason Adonis, Bobby Williams and Collin O’Neal, who is strangely the only hairy bear!). The trio decides to have a circle jerk while Fitch is sleeping in the other room. This scene is a highlight as the models go from jacking and sucking to Williams riding both Adonis and O’Neal. The sex here packs a wallop, and the mutual attraction among the men is palpable. After they finish, the guys discover Fitch, who makes a run for it. He finally arrives at the right house, but Granny is nowhere to be found. Instead, Mattox (in a silly shower cap and glasses getup) has snuck into her bed, where he lures Fitch into his wolfish clutches. This scene starts nicely with oral and kissing but gets a bit tedious and winds up feeling too long. By the way, does the at least 20-year age difference between Fitch and Mattox creep out anyone besides me? No matter, the mature Mattox fucks the newbie and ends this enjoyable romp.

First-rate production values and crystal-clear picture quality make this a typically fine Falcon feature. Director Chi Chi LaRue keeps the mood light and the action hopping. Fitch makes a winning bottom and most of the cast is excellent. These Woods will surely give viewers wood. (Falcon Studios)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)

Movie Review: Field Trip: Escape to Catalina

BY VINCENT LAMBERT

Director: Chad Donovan.
Cast: Antonio Madiera, Chip Nicolas, Jason Hawke, Corbin Michaels, Jason Kennedy, Enrique Velazco, Scott Ryan.

Three college students decide to hit the road after finals in Field Trip: Escape to Catalina. Director Chad Donovan teams with MSR Videos for this entertaining travelogue set in the scenic California resort. Upon arriving, cutie Antonio Madiera opts for a nap while buds Jason Kennedy and Corbin Michaels explore the lovely coastal town. Kennedy is lucky enough to immediately get picked up by Jason Hawke, and they share a stimulating flip-flop scene. Meanwhile, back at the house, Madiera awakens to find sexy stud Chip Nicolas (pictured, top) exercising on the patio. This leads to a superhot jerk-off competition between the twinkish Madiera and the beautifully muscled Nicolas. Great photography and editing build the erotic tension until Nicolas squirts on the window and Madiera follows with his own voluminous load. This scene is a keeper! And it sets a high standard for the rest of the movie to live up to. But these boys do try! Michaels meets up with Scott Ryan on the beach, and they get into some oral and ass-eating. Though they appear to be mismatched (Michaels is very tall and Ryan is very short), the duo manages to create a few sparks as Ryan tops with energy and Michaels delivers the movie’s best cum shot. After his stunning masturbation sequence, Madiera gets to have some actual sex in the next two scenes: first in the shower with Latin hottie Enrique Velazco and then with travel companion Michaels. Madiera tops in both and gets very loud, especially when he pops. What’s not to like? The videography and picture quality for the sex scenes is good, with crisp colors and nice lighting, but the outdoor shots that are meant to show off Catalina look blurry and washed-out. However, this one is worth the trip anyway. (MSR Video)

Reprinted from GAYVN magazine (2005)